Yesterdays Bilan

Yesterday I rode my scooter on the longish trip to Evry, the county town of the region where I live.

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been on work assessment – which basically means facing the reality that I’m in a very precarious situation in France. I don’t need reminding of that fact, I already know, but several people already have.
Obviously that gets annoying, but I’m determined not to let it get me down.

According to my latest “bilan” (or assessment in English), I do not have the right to any free professional courses (despite the fact I found a free French language course after the employment office had said I can’t have one from them) – because I have worked less than 3 years in France.
I am apparently too shy to go for interview and that needs to change. Also, as I live in a village getting to and from things is deemed “difficult” by my advisor at the bilan – yet I manage to get to Corbeil (15km) 3 times a week and Evry (20km) once a week. Oh and if I need to go into Paris I can ride to the local station and take the train.
So basically, rather than be advised about things I’m having the morale broken. Admittedly some advice is forthcoming, but it’s obvious that I’m not an extrovert and that my advisor has obviously not had to deal with someone English before.

Depending on how you look at it several people have said my English accent when speaking French is “cute” and most French people seem to like it – it’s a plus. According to my advisor my French needs a little more improvement (yes I already know that) and I hesitate too much (to find the right words to say).

So I have a few notes made which I have to act on, and maybe a few leads. I’ve also succeeded not to descend down into the depths of despair and depression – which would have happened to me a year ago.
Since seeing a Doctor for the depression I feel better but I can’t pretend that yesterday I had a chink put into my armour.

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Bilan de Competance


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