Am I allowed to…

  1. Smack my son around the head after he has just hit his 7 month old sister over the head with an inflatable light sabre?
  2. Very occasionally… rarely… “forget” that my 7 month old daughter needs changing?
  3. Bribe my 3 year old son with a Eurostar trip to “Enger-land” (his pronounciation) to stop him from constantly peeing himself?
  4. Not feel guilty when my 7 month old daughter takes a 5 hour nap? (Admittedly its not often).
  5. Not feel bad when I really can’t get into Gormiti. Even though my 3 year old son is obsessed with them?
  6. Leave my son to watch Guilli while I try and calm his 7 month old sister on our bed with cuddly toys?
  7. Avoid my next door neighbour on the school run, because I think his 5 year old son is a bad influence on my son?
  8. Ignore (sometimes) that my son doesn’t eat enough fruit with his “quatre heures”?
  9. Not be like everyone else who “works” because I’m a Home Dad?
  10. Not do the dusting for 3 weeks?
  11. Shout and scream at my son when he does something you’ve reminded him not to do for the millionth (or so it seems) time?
  12. Ignore my 7 month old daughter who has been crying, just for a few more minutes?
  13. Use the bottle of baby milk that his been sitting on the kitchen table for the last 3 hours?
  14. Give a compote to my baby daughter, that has been sitting in the fridge for more than 2 days?
  15. Try to force my son to eat left overs that have been nuked in the microwave?
  16. Insist that my son doesn’t bounce around on the settee like it was a big wine red coloured trampoline?
  17. Put my son in a headlock because he won’t let me put betadine on his wound.
  18. Shout at my 7 month old daughter when I change/dress her because she: puts her hand in her own sh*t/puts her toes in her mouth/tries to take her clean nappy off.
  19. Be lazy and use wet wipes.
  20. Insist that my son watches Cbeebies rather than Gulli or Ludo.

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